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Things to wish on your worst enemy: (just for laughs)

  1. “May your pillows always slide between the bed and the wall.”
  2. “I hope your lips stay chapped and you can never find your Chapstick!”
  3. “May your phone never be where you left it!”
  4. “May the room in which you sleep always be too warm for covers and too cool for a fan!”
  5. “I hope your bedtime partner always snores just loud enough to keep you awake but quiet enough not to wake them up!”
  6. “May the toilet you use at a party always almost overflow–enough to make you freak out but go down at the last second!”
  7. “May your colds always be the kind where you can breath out of one nostril but the stuffy one is the one that runs!”
  8. “May your break time nap always be interrupted by a caring co-worker!”
  9. “I hope it rains on all your days off!”
  10. “I hope you get bird poop on your car EVERY TIME you wash it!”
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